Clear search
Remote Jobs  Nomad Insurance Chat Meetups Visas & Residency New Climate Finder Forum FAQ Dating New Members Hire Remotely Open menu
🌍 Join Nomad List👋  Log in
Nomad List  Homepage⚙️  Settings🌗  Dark mode ❤️  Your favorites🚑  Nomad insurance
💬  Chat❤️  Dating🍸  Meetups🎫  Members map🏜  Explore💁  About
🔮  Random place🔮  Random good place
📸  Vote on photos💸  FIRE calculator🌤  Climate finder💥  Fastest growing🔌  Fastest internet
🛰  Remote jobs✈️  Airlines🗺  Neighborhoods🏝  Coworkations📍  Remote work visas🔓  Open startup
Relationships Chat

All Channels
# croatia1min# poland8min# _bug-reports14min# thailand22min# _gear28min# bulgaria40min# _bargain-travel48min# spain1h# _lgbtq2h# ___introductions3h# bali3h# ecuador3h# austria4h# georgia5h# estonia6h# germany6h# turkey7h# ukraine8h# mexico9h# _productivity10h# brazil10h# portugal10h# canada10h# italy10h# netherlands10h# france10h# united-states10h# slovenia10h# colombia10h# greece10h# _covid1911h# australia12h# _relationships13h# _money15h# _coders19h# romania24h# sweden1d# _parents1d# _legal1d# _housing1d# vietnam1d# dubai1d# denmark1d# africa1d# czechia1d# united-kingdom1d# peru1d# costa-rica2d# _overland-travel2d# _taxes-us2d# asia2d# serbia2d# chile2d# panama3d# latin-america3d# hungary3d# europe3d# canary-islands3d# hong-kong3d# cyprus3d# india4d# _flying4d# indonesia4d# _crypto4d# _marketing4d# _fitness4d# lithuania4d# _jobs-talk4d# _food4d# _freelance4d# norway4d# mauritius5d# _stonks5d# guatemala6d# south-korea6d# _startups6d# _insurance6d# _photography7d# south-africa8d# _pets8d# israel9d# miami9d# russia10d# china10d# argentina11d# north-macedonia12d# _outdoors13d# morocco13d# cuba13d# bolivia16d# malaysia16d# finland16d# sri-lanka19d# japan19d# malta21d# _show-and-tell24d# __announcements24d# _for_rent25d# _design26d# switzerland27d# singapore27d# new-zealand28d# _books28d# kuwait28d# montenegro29d# saudi-arabia1mo# taiwan1mo# belgium1mo# iceland1mo# nicaragua1mo# ___general1mo# cambodia2mo# egypt2mo# philippines2mo# austin2mo# middle-east2mo# chiang-mai2mo# puerto-rico2mo# dominican-republic2mo# london3mo
but yeah definitely can see how sharing a native culture would be helpful (especially true for certain sets of things you might be trying to work through)
For my solo travelers out there, how do you usually make friends while at a new location? Las time I was traveling I just used tinder to connect and got to know some very interesting people that way and made a few friends. I’m going to try coliving next month but was wondering in what other ways you connect to people.
tinder, coliving, coworking, events, and activities
I can’t see myself going to locations without nomad communities and coworking spaces for that reason
Oh that’s interesting. I haven’t really thought about it but I probably don’t have many nomad or traveler friends. Most of them are just my friend from X. Coliving and coworking seems like the way to go, probably meet ups once things are better
You could also go to language exchanges (also great to meet former drug pilots 😂 ), expat meetups, walking tours or some hostels to find people who are there a bit longer - but I don't know if you want to enter those waters
I find it pretty easy to make friends through meetups (not necessarily digital nomad ones)
Tinder also works great for making friends
I mean, they start off as dates but still
I get along far better with women so a lot of my friendships started out on tinder too
I tend to go in with no expectations, just a curiosity about what sort of relationship will suit me and the other person. Often it’s hard to piece lives together well enough, especially while travelling, to justify a long term relationship so the dates grow more platonic and friendly
Be careful with tinder though 😂 I went on a date with a digital nomad (later found out he didn’t even think its a date haha), fast forward 1,5 years and we’re traveling the world together 😂
I've joined facebook groups of the towns i'm in and people are usually really eager to meet up.
I think I’ve been on 3 NomadList dates
Which is more impressive when you consider I’ve only been single for 8 months in the last 15 years 🤔
Wait, can you do EMDR online? Or are you talking about flying to that provider?
I've only ever done it remotely
did you figure out anything promising?
my peak is one time i met a girl on tinder, had a really weird date and complained about it here .. then realized she was a member and in the channel
so now i avoid nomadlist dates 😂
Hah! Did she think it went bad or good? Must have been a surprise to read about it here anyways joyjoy
I often worry about that with twitter. I’ve had girls on tinder send me my tweets like “this you?” and I remember in the worst of ways that I have no control over who reads my posts
My Twitter is all shitposting, so they’re not going to learn anything useful there except that I like shitposting. 😂
No lol
Actually there are a couple. it seems like people on wisconsin licenses can treat anyone outside the US. But I'm not completely sure.

There are some licenses that are good
Part of me wishes we could go back to the good old days of the Internet, where anonymous handles were the norm.
FWIW I self-censored my previous post talking about the creep factor with people finding you online, or people who know you online talking about you in person, even though I didn't say anything particularly bad. Relationships can be a sensitive topic and I'm going to try to censor myself surrounding casual dating. Of course I'm just using Tinder and Grindr for friends, that's what everyone does, right?
Tinder et al are such a crapshoot for dating, it's actually depressing. Respectfully approaching people in person is better IMO, but of course depending on location (covid, restrictions) & cultural norms this can differ.
Self-censorship is wise around here. Treat it like a public space connected to your real identity with no easy way to delete your data.
oh, that is interesting if true!
would be ideal because my insurance only pays for it if it's officially licensed in teh US lol
Story time!

Let’s exchange Grindr stories. Sharing is caring
cory1mo
I'm in a similar boat, I've been finding like many have that if there's a nomad or expat community, ie a bigger city, it's fairly easy to meet people. Once I have a friend or two the network forms quickly. However, if I'm in a smaller town or somewhere not geared towards meeting people, it's difficult.

For example, earlier in the year I was living in Rio and created a large network of friends. A combo of tinder and friends of friends made dating easy.

I'm currently in Chania on Crete in Greece. It's basically entirely honeymooners and a nearby naval base worth of young American soldiers. Here I'm like a ghost among honeymooners and drunk GI's 😂
For the sake of analysis. I found out this channel and what strike me most was the psychological analysis on people who develop a relationship and then turn into a hell, most likely by the lack of perspective and courage to act accordingly to their principles (just to give a name).

After so many years of a social life thanks to dancing...the pandemic changed it all. I lost my job and all dance studios and clubs closed. I lost my job and decided to travel. I have never had problems meeting guys... until now. So I thought I should share, I got on tinder for the 1st time last month while in Colombia. I did know that there are many going on the site for sex tourism, legal there so I made it clear I was not that.. it was impossible to meet anyone. I continued in Peru and had 2 nice dates with down to earth guys who I now call friends... nothing more than a coffee and a good conversation. Its been good so far, as I say on my profile, I love meeting people and chatting about life with no more expectations than a great conversation. If anything else happens and the universe has it to be more than a friendship, then let the spark light up the sky. My biggest lesson has been to filter bot conversations and not to ask nor share Instagram instantly.... too much. Anyone else have any additional tips for this newbie?
The trick with dating apps is to take more chances
Establish a good coffee date routine and then go on hundreds of them
I wish I could outsource that
It's a MASSIVE time sink
You can you’re just too cheap
I will manage your dating apps for you but I’m asking for £100 an hour
oxjgwlbvwag I feel like I have a pretty good read on your type too 🤔
£100/hr isn't very useful without context on how long it would take
I wouldn't pay £1k for a speculative first date
Come back to Kohub next year when it has people in it again?
Full of lonely people and easy social mingling
could well be doing that anyways
nik20d
I met someone who made his job of it, but after one year, he found something more interesting
It’d suck to build a flirty connection with someone and then hand them over to the client thinking_facejoy
So I met this guy 2 months ago here in my city and we had an amazing connection. The problem is he moved to another country to continue full-time nomad’ing, whereas I’m planning to keep my base where I am and just travel regularly. He told me that he doesn’t want to do long-distance but it’s also way too early for me. How do people make this work after they meet and hit it off?
tbh if I really hit it off with someone, and there were any likelihood of it becoming something viable - then I would probably set plans that allowed for seeing that person again
the question is, how one does that without it appearing insane
i.e. - to non-nomads, someone basically uprooting their life and moving nearby someone they just met IS like 'woah Jesus, steady now!'
whereas to someone nomadic, visas allowing - just staying somewhere longer is extremely low impact
Exactly, he did suggest we meet and stay together in another city but I can barely spend 2 weeks traveling with my best friends, let alone living together with someone 😕
I personally have kind of just accepted transience, but I have no idea if that's the right thing to do.
oxyc20d
I always stayed when i really hit it off with someone, no one thought i was insane but maybe that was my type hehe. Eventually i just stayed indefinitely, moved in and got married 😄 As someone who also prefers to have a base for work and then travel, dating someone without a “base” sounds doomed to fail if their end-goal is nomad’ing 😕
The vast majority of my travel is based on friends and people in any case rather than random selection all the time
I'm like a comet floating about space that orbits other entities for a while then shoots off to a different cluster and repeat, lol
Haha same here. Last year I had to telecommute for the entire year because of obvious reasons and I stayed in 6 counries where I had friends. Nothing that I'm proud of esp. trying to limit the travel because of C-19, but as someone without a base (and avoiding going back to the UK:) I had to stick to a friend-mapping with countries that allowed me in.
ha yeah exactly the same last year - except, funnily, Greece. Which was intended to be a 2 week transit back into the UK from Thailand, but I ended up extending to nearly 2 months, because it was so much better than I knew the UK was gonna be.
Going to the same city but not sharing the same place is a good balance of not rushing into a relationship. You’re just friends at that stage, and you can spend as much or as little time together as you want within that time you are in the same city. You can make the “moving in together” decision with hotels/airbnbs the same way you would if you weren’t nomading.
Yeah, that would be my preference too.
So I used the friends/date feature of the website but it doesn't allow me to respond to people's DMs as I'm new here!! Why letting people swipe in the first place then?!
Maybe you can report in #_bug-reports
erdo16d
it was same for me too, looks like you need to wait 7 days... at least a month ago, that was the case for me
erdo16d
(7 days after your registration)
Good point, I'll add some code to allow people within first 7 days to message their matches!
Let’s say you’re having a heated argument with your partner. Suddenly I’m feeling overwhelmed, stressed out and too angry to talk and I say that I need a break, I need silence and being alone. My partner says this is disrespectful and that when she needs to talk I have to talk no matter what. So me walking away for a break is considered by her as an act of violence. Thoughts on this?
act of violence? that’s a bit too far, imho.
walking away while angry and talking after the dust settles is probably the best thing you can do.
That’s a very interesting read, thanks for sharing. I admit I’ve stonewalled a few times, but then managed to control that, partly thanks to anti-depressants. But the last times it was just too much, and she kept trying to force me aggressively into the argument, throwing things around the room and saying she felt like hitting me or breaking stufff on my head… she never did of course, but if you gender reverse the situation it would be totally different and I’d be seen as an abuser…
When the argument is over, try to have calm discussion about establishing some rules that you will commit to follow in case of the next argument. 
Try to find some compromise that will help you to take a break, but won't feel for her like she's being ignored by you. Also it helps if you explain in details how you feel and why you need to take a break so that the other person understands why is that important for you. Don't forget to do the same for her.
Then stick to the rules next time you have an argument and remind the other person that this is what you agreed on if they try to break them.
Communication is always the answer to most relationship problems.
Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. I’ve never read the book but Ive been told this is one of the basics, men need space, women need to talk it out.
qlmzbbwswh I have had similar, I feel like GTFO in arguments. Maybe a men thing yes.

Violence (throwing stuff) is a big red flag and no no and that should end any argument instantly because you feel at danger.

If there is a normal conflict conversation though I try to not walk away and talk it out eventhough it's difficult. Which mostly means trying to listen and understand and that's really difficult.

I can highly recommend getting relationship therapy online too. Even for a healthy relationship. I'm starting with that soon.

I've been in rships where ppl threw stuff at me though and I can't say they worked out well.
I wanted to try relationship therapy but I think it’s not worth it because our values are opposed (mostly regarding gender roles). I actually did GTFO two weeks ago… she still wants to talk but the conversation quickly turns aggressive
Good luck, sounds like a possible mismatch yes
I was very communicative over the past few months, explaining in details that all I felt she was doing was attacking me and trying to make me feel guilty, bringing up unrelated past events, making up stuff she can’t back up…
I read Men are from Mars… it’s way too basic and repetitive for me. It has some interesting parts though
It doesn’t sound great tbh. I personally would stress that you care about her and your intentions are good but that maybe you’re just incompatible with your communication
Have you read Non-Violent Communication?
Some of the behavior you've described sounds very manipulative. Make sure you're investing efforts into someone who is trying to resolve problems equitably for both of you, not to their emotional benefit.
Those are my thoughts exactly… I think she is very manipulative. Once we were having an argument about money. She told me she was feeling stressed out because I asked her to help me pay rent and to her, as a woman, this is humiliating. I told her I felt it was fair because I was paying for absolutely everything and now I barely had any work, and she was making decent money. Then she started ranting about not being able to buy new clothes, a new car, rings, and told me I was being manipulative and pressuring her about canceling he her therapy sessions (which I never did). She said that because I have been telling her that I was stressed about having less money I was pressuring her. So I told her that I felt lonely and not supported because I could not share my problems with her. She said that did matter, that all that matters is how she felt about my comments about what I was going through
The limited stories you've provided have a common theme she's intensely focused on how things affect her, with very little thought about you. I think it's worth exploring if that's something that happens a lot in your relationship, and if so, whether it's healthy for you to continue.
I think she’s very dependent emotionally and financially. She believes that women must be protected and taken care all the time. She cannot even handle and argument with another people without needing me to “defend” her in very low stakes situations. When I told her I don’t want to have to take care of her like a child she got mad. She thinks a man’s job is to take care, defend and provide for her. I tried to be like that for almost 3 years. It was not healthy for me, it wreaked havoc on my mental health. I asked her to be more flexible and at least help me out sharing our basic costs of living. She paid a couple of things like a third of rent and a few groceries and freaked out about it a week later…
She has a history of violent and manipulative relationships. When I bring that up she gets mad and tells me she will never tell me about her past again
Ok yes sounds like GTFO time!
I am having same issue and I’ve paid full lifetime membership, can’t respond to anyone for another 6 days??? Any help appreciated
I got out more than a week ago... the problem is not getting pulled back in... It happened before, gotta stay strong
Be strong you deserve so much better!!!
Yep, block her everywhere
That's the policy rn to avoid spam, be patient
☝️ (Not replied to thread because thread took a totally different turn)
We used to have heated disucssions a lot, and it increased during covid lockdown. Then I learnt a way to control it.
As soon as she becomes rude, I make a puppy face and tell her that I felt bad and she stops, and replies normally without being rude.
She started repeating the same with me, when I am rude.

Now we don't have heated disucssion.
Just an update for all of you who helped me and supported me with this, I'm doing well, still haven't seen her again, and not planning to
×
USD ─ $
°F
✨ To see all results
Join Nomad List
269ms
Messages
Open IM list
Send